Building With People Tip

From my earliest days in Sunday school, I have remembered the words that a wise man builds his house upon the rock and the foolish man builds upon the sand. For 50 years, I thought this probably sound advice for someone about to build a house. It never dawned on me that it might have some other application until I heard the following quote from Peter Drucker. The task of leadership is to create an alignment of strengths in ways that make weaknesses irrelevant.

That statement unlocked doors in my mind and with it came the realization that success really does come from building on strengths. All too often we focus on problems (weaknesses = sand) and struggle to overcome them when in fact, we would be much better off focusing on what is working (strengths = rock) and building on them.

Over the course of my career, I have had a variety of bosses. Most tried to fix me. I did have one boss who stood up before the whole sales organization and told them he had complete faith in me. I didnt realize it at the time, but my boss motivated me in a way that I would have walked through fire for him.

In fact, I didnt really understand what he had done and how it affected me until I became soccer coach and tried a positive approach to leadership. By praising the desired actions of players, I was encouraging the other players to perform in a similar fashion. You get what you praise and reward (a lesson some organizations including our government should learn). In reality, I was building on strengths (the rock) just as my boss had done.

What about your organization? Are you still playing in the sand or are you building on rock?

 Copyright Bob Cannon/The Cannon Advantage, 2007. All rights reserved.

Byline Bob Cannon helps visionary leaders enhance performance and profitability in their organizations. Check out other interesting articles available in the Taking Aim newsletter available at http://www.cannonadvantage.com . Bob can be reached at (216) 408-9495 or mailto: aim@cannonadvantage.com

This article courtesy of http://www.decision-makingtoday.com . You may freely reprint this article on your website or in your newsletter provided this courtesy notice and the author name and URL remain intact.

How To Help People Think Better - The Nitty Gritty of Listening

You know how to listen. You do it every day. In fact, you spend a good portion of the time you're interacting with others in listening. You're good at it.

And, we find that leaders who are remarkable listeners are always looking to expand their listening skills. So let's really make a study of listening today; let's take a look at the nitty gritty.

Helping people to think more deeply is the highest purpose, the best reason, for a leader to listen more deeply. When people think more deeply, when they make their own connections, they get a jolt of energy, and they're inspired to action. David Rock in his book Quiet Leadership (Appeared, 2006) describes the neuroscience of the process of coming to one's own insight. Then he says,

When people make deep, new connections in their own mind, there is a tangible release of energy, a discernable "aha" moment that fills us with a desire to take action. On a physical level, this aha moment releases chemicals in the body to prime it for movement. The energy created by insight is an important energy source to be harnessed. In the workplace there are many drains on our energy, including restrictions, policies, politics, long hours, and hundreds of emails every day. We should be harnessing every possible energy source that might inspire better performance. Letting people come up with their own ideas is a deep well of motivation to tap. (pp.39-40)

We have found that people get excited, become more conscious, and solve their own problems when their leaders and colleagues employ the skill of listening for. When you are listening for my potential, my strengths, or my skills mastery, I can sense that and I respond to it. When you're listening for what's important to me, for my goals, for what I value, for what I believe is possible or not possible, you help me become more conscious of these myself. When you're listening for how I feel about the subject I'm discussing - whether my energy is high or low, whether I'm excited or worried - I know I am truly heard. When you're listening for the real issue, maybe the question behind my question, then you help me to see so much more. When you're listening for what I'm not saying but is clearly present, then you give me permission to bring it out.

So how do you do it, this listening deeply and listening for? Here are some of the nitty gritty techniques:

Say less than you think you need to. Give lots of time for the person to think or to frame what they're saying. Resist the urge to jump in.

Summarize, paraphrase, and mirror back what you're hearing to be sure you understand clearly and to give the person a chance to hear what he or she is thinking.

As you reflect what you're hearing, use their language. It will have more of an impact. As you reflect, use language that indicates "I heard" rather than "You said."

Notice the difference between the person's words, tone of voice, and body language.

Practice setting aside your own judgments of what you're hearing.

And finally, just practice hearing some of what we've already mentioned: potential, goals, values, strengths, mastery, possibility, point of view, feelings, what's underneath.

Now let's look at an example. Your employee, Bob, comes to you and says, "Sandy is alienating everyone around her." For many, the automatic response is to look for a solution. The leader who is listening for starts by asking for more information and listening for what's important to the speaker.

As you listen, you reflect what you're hearing, giving Bob the chance to become more aware of the elements of the situation and what's really going on. You use language that tells Bob what you've heard. You listen for possibility, for Bob's strengths and for Sandy's. You listen for how Bob is thinking about the situation and what he may not be saying about it. And you assume Bob's competence in being able to solve his problem.

As you reflect what Bob is saying, he begins to see possibility, too. Now may be a good time to ask Bob what he'd like to see and how he'd like to move forward. You continue to see him as competent and creative. In this collaborative conversation, Bob feels heard, and he taps into his own resourcefulness. Your deep listening allows Bob to harness his own energy and to solve his own problem, to become a leader in this situation.

We have all experienced the power of being truly heard. It is one of the highest gifts we receive in this life. In the business world, it encourages deeper thinking, energized action, and greater connection to the work at hand. And it invokes the leader in everyone.

Jennifer Sellers is the Chief Energy Officer of Inspired Mastery, a leadership development company that helps people see inside their own blind spots to become powerful communicators, powerful leaders, and powerful in their lives. She is a Professional Certified Coach through the International Coach Federation. Her background includes teen and adult education, project management under contract to NASA, a year as a ski bum in Telluride, Colorado , and 5 years as a coach, facilitator, and speaker. She has practiced Zen meditation for almost 20 years and is passionate about tapping the highest potential in each of us. http://www.inspiredmastery.com

Building Self Confidence and Self Esteem

As a hypnotherapist I specialise in helping people to develop confidence and self esteem.

Perhaps surprisingly, the people who ask for my help are not shrinking violets and their reasons for wanting to develop enhanced self confidence are not wholly selfish. Consider a few examples. The names have been changed.

John works for a large corporate. Diligent, startlingly intelligent and very ambitious, he found that his ideas were consistently overlooked. This wasnt enough of a catalyst to bring him to my door, however. He eventually grew frustrated, and then angry, that dominant individuals in his company were able to put their own ideas forward with ease. Worst of all, some of these ideas, he felt, were positively damaging, but he just couldnt make his opposition count. All his intelligence counted for little in his testosterone-fuelled working environment. It had reached the point where he felt that he should resign and start again with a fresh company; he simply didnt feel that he was adding any real value. A man of great integrity, John would rather leave than tacitly support such a wrong-headed and unintelligent approach to business.

John stayed. We worked together to identify his confidence profile, which was very unusual -- represented by less than 1% of the population. Through work on his stage presence and physical presence, we were able to significantly improve Johns effectiveness in being taken seriously, to the extent where he has recently broken through into senior management.

Jenny came to me because she was lonely. A brief marriage hadnt worked out, and she was finding serial dating to be a frustrating activity. Jenny had come to realise that she wasnt moving out of her comfort zone, either socially or at work. She feared becoming enclosed, locked into a safe routine which wouldnt threaten her, but wouldnt take her life forward either.

Jennys confidence profile was almost the inverse of Johns. Where he had masses of peer independence, Jenny had almost none, which meant that she was hugely dependent on the good opinion of others. She needed lots of reassurance, and had very little faith in her own ability or judgement.

The approach with Jenny was to strengthen her peer independence -- her ability to trust in her own judgement, independent of the views of others - and to build up her self esteem. She has now met somebody, changed her job and moved house -- all in the space of a year!

What these case studies illustrate is the complex nature of self confidence. It isnt like height or weight; you cant read off a single value which describes a person. Confidence is complex and to develop, we need to understand our confidence profile. I have subsequently made my confidence profile questionnaire available through the Confidence Club website http://www.confidenceclub.net

This has enabled me to build up an even larger database of confidence profiles, and allows people from all over the world to identify their particular areas for improvement.

Jim Sullivan is a hypnotherapist specialising in confidence and self esteem development. He works with individual clients, with companies looking to de-stress their staff and through his Confidence Club website. http://www.confidenceclub.net

Self Esteem - Finding the Elusive Secret of Happiness

How long has it been?

How long since you lifted your face to the sky and laughed a big, belly shaking laugh. How long 5B4since you spread your arms and felt so elated you wanted to fly? How long since your heart lifted into the heavens with delicious self esteem and overflowing gratitude for life itself?

It may have been just this morning. If so, I'm delighted for you. But if it's been a little longer than that, then it may be time for a little re-education about joy.

Happiness is not a place. Nor is it a thing. You can't buy it, and you sure can't sell it.

It's a process. And it only occurs when other things are present in the right proportions. Trouble is, there's no recipe. You do certain things, and happiness just spills out, so what produces joy today may not work quite the same tomorrow.

Some things are commonly found together with happiness; things like generosity and kindness, like healthy self esteem and helping another person, or like doing an outstanding job. But it doesn't work if we go at it mechanically like a recipe. We're not baking biscuits -- we're making a life, so the rules are dynamic rather than static.

In fact, happiness is most likely to come when we're not thinking about it at all, a kind of by-product or side effect. But when it comes, there's no doubt at all in your mind; you know you're happy.

You know how your car has a warning light when your oil gets too low? Or a buzzer (or maybe a voice) telling you a door isn't shut all the way?

Well, think of happiness as an indicator light telli5A7ng you when you've got things right. If your Joy Light isn't on, something is out of balance in your life, and it's time to start changing things. And if it is on, just relax and continue with whatever you're doing.

Happiness is feedback. It's very pleasant feedback, but that's all it is. It's like an actor getting good reviews. The critic's kind comments are not why he performs; however, they're nice when they come. So he enjoys them but keeps moving forward, striving to be an increasingly better actor.

Think of happiness like a theater review, and it'll be easier to keep things in perspective. Just keep performing to the best of your ability, learning your craft, polishing your abilities, growing your self esteem, moving forward. The happiness will spill out while you're busy being who you really want to be.

For more information on how to shape your future, download the free PDF report "It's All Good Luck - Five No-Fail Tips for Turning Bad Luck into Good... Every Time" at http://www.more-luck.com/luckyreport/

Free Psychotherapy Against Self-Abuse

I examined several aspects of the psychic disease that affects some teens who abuse their bodies with knives or other sharp objects. I am going to provide these teenagers free psychotherapy by using my method based on their own resistance in order to help them acquire psychic health and finally, wisdom.

If you indulge in self-abuse, please carefully read my instructions and do exactly what I'm telling you to, without excuses, because you are in great danger and you have to help yourself.

First of all, you have to understand that you must be afraid of knives and sharp objects that can cause wounds in your body. Finding relief and satisfaction from abusing your body is a distorted reaction and is not natural. You should feel horrified when you see your body being cut; however, you not only completely neglect the terror you ought to feel when you see your body bleeding, instead, you hurt your body yourself.

What does it mean?

This means that your conscience was damaged and you cannot distinguish what is good and bad. It means also that your feelings and senses are not functional. You have had a nervous breakdown. Your nervous system is disconnected from your reality and the effects it has over you.

You are neurotic with tendencies towards worse psychological diseases and with suicidal tendencies, even if you feel that you don't want to die. Remember, you cannot feel anythB68ing because your nervous system is not functioning normally. This is why you feel pleasure with pain and you are dependent on self-abuse to calm down. You should feel horrified with your pain and for losing blood but not only do you cause it yourself, you also feel an insane pleasure due to your pain.

So, when you say you don't want to die, you must understand that you don't know what you really want and you cannot control your behaviour. You want to stop cutting your body but you cannot stop. You don't know the meaning of the crazy behaviour that is dominating you.

I have already explained in my article, "Teen Help - How to Stop Cutting Your Body" that the wild part of your conscience invaded the human part. It pretends to belong to the human part, whereas in reality it is a wild conscience that is evil and violent.

This means that you are not being yourself as you imagine. You are dominated by the wild part of your psychic sphere, which doesn't have feelings. It is cruel and totally insensitive. This is why you became insensitive to pain as well: this invasion caused the breakdown in your nervous system.

What can you do now?

You must recover your notion of reality and be afraid of knives that can cause damage to your body. You must hate to see yourself bleed and you must care for your health.

This evil part that dominates you makes excuses for your strange behaviour, which you must not accept.

If you hurt your body you are being very aggressive towards society and you are also hurting your parents. The violent and evil wild conscience tells you that they are responsible for your pain and that they deserve to be attacked this way by you.

Even though you may agree with this concept of reality, you have to understand that this aggression is first of all against you, and to your parents and our society only after that.

If you disagree with the crazy way our world functions and all the horrors it has, you are right, but your attacks will not help improve the world. You have to construct something good in this world with your work and be an example to be followed by the others if you wish to change something in this absurd place where we live in suffering.

If you wish to attack your parents because you feel they don't care for you or if you want to show to someone how much you feel unjustly treated by hurting yourself, you have to understand that you are being a victim of craziness and your attitude can only cause more horrors and conflicts.

One must never attack anyone. Forgive your enemies because everyone is very easily dominated by the craziness that comes from the wild conscience, in the same way you are dominated by the irrational desire to hurt yourself.

This crazy desire can go away only if you are resistant and stop doing what the wild and absurd side of your conscience wants you to.

Do935 whatever you can to stop cutting your body as I told you in my previous article about this subject: tie your hands and body, hide all knives and sharp objects, and mainly, suppress the horrible feeling you have because you are not cutting your body.

This feeling will disappear if you are resistant. It cannot last forever as you imagine. If you are resistant and never do what this violent intruder wants you to, the wild conscience loses its power. On the other hand, now that you are doing exactly what it wants, it constantly becomes more powerful and dominates you even more.

The battle depends on your resistance. Fight against the monster that dominates you and then help this world become a place where everyone will have the proper conditions to live peacefully and happily if you wish to show us your rebellion and how much you condemn the way we live.

Prevent Depression and Craziness through the scientific method of Dream Interpretation discovered by Carl Jung and simplified by Christina Sponias, a writer who continued Jung's research in the unknown region of the human psychic sphere. Learn more at: http://www.scientificdreaminterpretation.com and http://www.booksirecommend.com

Click here and download your copy of the Free ebook

Beating Depression and Craziness

Top Barriers to Effective Listening and How to Overcome Them

Effective listening is every bit as important as effective speaking, and generally much more difficult. Although numerous barriers to effective listening can make the practice difficult, there are several habits one can adopt that will lead to a higher level of listening proficiency.

Listening is the most important part of the communication process. However, listening skills do not come naturally to most people; they require willingness, practice, and patience to develop.

There are many reasons individuals fail to listen successfully. These include:

1. Interrupting
2. Judging
3. Faking Attention
4. Becoming Emotional
5. Tuning Out
6. Jumping to Conclusions
7. Becoming distracted.

Interrupting is a problem for many reasons. First, it is aggressive behavior and will most likely bring a negative response from the speaker being interrupted. Second, it is difficult to listen and speak at the same time. When the listener is interrupting, he or she is certainly not listening fully.

Faking attention (often associated with tuning out) can be offensive and is usually hard to hide. This is hurtful and sends the message to the speaker that the listener doesnt really care about what the speaker is saying. If an individual cannot listen actively in the present moment, it is best to let that be known and suggest that the communication process be put off until a point when there are no distractions.

Becoming emotional can hinder ones ability to listen. It is important that the receiver be aware of his or her emotions. If the sender is sending a message that is offensive, it is important to acknowledge that fact and be aware of the fact that something is threatening a breakdown in the process. When a receiver is angered, it is easy for him or her to miss the most important part of the senders message.

To avoid jumping to conclusions, it may be helpful for the listener to wait until the speaker is finished before responding. It can also be helpful to ask questions throughout the conversation to clarify issues, or to let the speaker know that he or she is communicating in a way that suggests a cert5B4ain thing, which may not be what they are intending to say.

It is easy to become distracted while trying to communicate. Often one has many tasks to do or there is a lot of other activity taking place while someone is trying to communicate. This can be a problem because it leads to miscommunication, faking attention, and tuning out all togetherall of which threaten future communication.

Although the reasons for listening breakdowns are numerous, there are many ways to improve listening skills. These are:

1. Provide clues that you are actively involved
2. Concentrate
3. Refrain from formulating an immediate response
4. Try to prepare beforehand
5. Be prepared to accept revisions
6. Be sure the environment is conducive to listening.

Clues that one is actively listening can go a long way. It is important to the speaker to feel like the listener cares about what the speaker is saying. This is because it tends to send a message about whether or not the listener cares about the speaker in general. When people dont feel like you care about them, they dont trust you and the communication process quickly breaks down. Therefore, it sis important to use verbal and non-verbal clues that you are listening, including eye contact, gestures, and acknowledging statements.

Concentration requires willingness and practice. Practicing active listening helps with concentration but there B57are other elements that contribute to your ability to concentrate on what someone is saying. When youre involved in an exchange of information, you cant be multi-tasking. Its important to position yourself in a way that maintains eye contact while allowing you to watch for body language and other non-verbal forms of communication.

It is important to refrain from formulating an immediate response. You wont be able to fully concentrate on forming a genuine understanding of what the speaker is trying to say if you are too busy thinking about what you are going to say in response to them whenever it is your turn to talk. Instead, it is important to approach the communication as a dialogue. Dialogues help us to learn what others have to say by forcing us to think about their message and to acknowledge what we have heard rather than just responding with our own opinions.

Preparation can have a huge impact on the outcome of a dialogue or any form of communication. To prepare for an interaction where effective listening will be important, it is essential to keep in mind the purpose of the exchange. What decisions need to be made and how the collaboration between sender and receiver relates are important factors to keep in mind. It is also helpful to approach the situation with the attitude of really caring about and wanting to know the truth. The dialogue should be viewed as an opportunity to uncover the truth and make progress, rather than as a challenge or conflict.

A willingness to accept revisions will keep the communication process running smoothly. Often people are so busy trying to defend their positions that they fail to really stop and think whether they could be improved upon or viewed in a different way. This is what is often referred to as spending 90 seconds expressing an opinion and 900 seconds blindly defending it.

Choosing the right environment is important because it will help the listener focus and avoid distractions. Although there is no set environment which is best for all communication, in general it is best to avoid areas where there are high levels of activity, loud noises, an uncomfortable temperature, poor air flow, etc.

Implementing these techniques takes willingness and patience. The effort is worthwhile however, as the long-term benefit of improved communication skills will greatly increase ones chances of success in the business world. Effective listening is the most important part of the communication process. It is probably the most difficult to master also. There are many barriers to effective listening, but practicing listening techniques will help one overcome these barriers and become a good listener.

Justin Elza is the owner of 37BJ. Allan Writing and Design Studios, a full-service creative firm that helps clients save time and money while developing consistency in all their written, visual, and web-based marketing communications. From business cards to billboards, memos to manuscripts, J. Allan Studios is your creative, professional partner!

The Secret of Breaking the Chains of Low Self-Esteem

Do you struggle every single day with low self-esteem issues? Is it difficult for you to believe good things about yourself? I'm going to give you the secret for breaking those chains of low self-esteem.

Here's the secret: Be nice to yourself.

Regardless of the underlying factor of your poor self-esteem, you have the power to change this yourself. In fact, you are the only person who can change it. You can't rely or depend on someone else to make you feel better.

The true secret and key to raising your esteem is to begin by believing in yourself.

Start by using positive affirmations every day. Stop the negative inner chatter with these uplifting personal statements.

Next, do something nice for yourself every now and then. Set a special date just to pamper yourself. Make a date with a friend for some one-on-one time. Do something extra special just for you.

It is important to keep in mind that this is not an overnight process. It took a long time for your esteem and self worth to be crushed, so you can't expect for it to be rebuilt in a short amount of time. However, diligence on your part will enable you to get back on your feet quicker.

Finally, enlist the help of trusted friends and family. Perhaps the most difficult habit to break is being nice to yo49Durself. Have your friends and family to kindly point out when you are being mean to yourself. Sometimes you'll do it without even realizing you're begin negative towards yourself.

You can break the chains of low self-esteem. Start today and be a happier person!

Read more about low self-esteem at http://www.nurturedsoul.com/

Spiritual Advice

Mirror, Mirror

As the year 2007 wraps up and 2008 is about to begin, I always suggest to clients to reflect on the past year before the New Year begins. This helps us learn from the past and creates awareness and energy for the year ahead.

Often times I hear from people that every year looks the same. They have a hard time distinguishing one year from another because nothing ever changes. Someone once said we take more time to plan a vacation than we do our lives. Sad, but very true.

Here are the top questions to ask yourself to help make 2008 different than 2007.

1. What was your greatest lesson this year?

2. What brought you happiness?

3. What brought you disappointment?

4. What will you take with you in the New Year?

5. What will you leave behind?

6. What was the biggest risk you took? What risk would you have liked to take?

7. What are you most grateful for?

8. If you could go back and change one thing what would it be and why?

9. What did you want to accomplish that you did not do? Do you still want to?

10. How did/do you limit yourself? How can you transform this behavior into something positive?

Remember the old saying, "If you do what you always did, you will get what you always got." No wonder most people's lives look the same from year to year.

Give yourself the gift of self-reflection that will help you to create the life you really want this year. It only takes an hour or two. Don't you deserve better than settling for whatever shows up? Of course you do....

If you would like to have a discussion with me about any of these questions please contact Karen Regan at info@coachforhappiness.com.

Spiritual Advice

Ever Hear of The Socratic Method

Do you think we live in a controlling society, where the goal of bosses, parents, and teachers is to twist logic and reasoning to make others conform and do things their way?

Does the media support the economy in training society to be worker-drones and not question authority?

Is control in the eyes (and mind), of the beholder; we have independent will to choose regardless of others?

You have the ultimate volition and responsibility if you are willing to accept the consequences of your acts right?

Who Was Socrates?

Maybe he lived and maybe he is a mythical figure invented by Plato and Aristotle. He never wrote a book or put his ideas on the Internet so we are dependent on his Athenian friends for verification.

The dates given for his life are 470 to 399 BC, when he allegedly chose to drink hemlock (poison), instead of accepting exile from Athens. He was convicted of the crime of Impiety to the Gods, and corrupting Athenian youth through his teaching.

Athens had just lost the big war to Sparta the Peloponnesian War and Athens was looking for a scapegoat. The government was run by the 30 Tyrants who preferred to blame, execute or exile Socrates, than accept the label of governmental-incompetence for losing the war.

His Method

Four key elements:

a) Stimulate organized thinking through probing questions.

b) Keep the conversation focused on self-understanding leading to logical conclusions.

c) Always be intellectually fair with the person questioned.

d) Periodically summarize what has been concluded and its implications.

e) Remember the Socratic Method is skeptic1107al and questions flip answers and beliefs.

Is There Always a Single Answer?

Socrates and those present day teachers who use his method, use a conversational approach. They attempt to draw out the reasoning and correct answer from the student. They do not lecture the students, but interact through deft questioning.

The system is empirical and inductive, practical yet based on the life experience of all people. Socrates seeks to draw out the student to understand the implications of his/her beliefs, by deductive thinking comprehending its logical consequences.

One size fits all?

There is no single answer that works under varying circumstances. Change re- quires a new set of ideas and analysis. In law the judge is given discretion based on varying circumstances.

The Socratic Method is not a set of laws that we follow blindly, but reasoning leading to focused analysis and the best response.

Why Bother With This Method?

Lecturing is boring for both the instructor and the listener. The rate of speech of a professor is about 150 words per minute, while note-taking by the listener is no more than 25 words per minute. We, the listener, get lost in a flood of information and quit listening because we cannot keep up.

Question and analysis is interactive, leading to mutually satisfying conclusions.

The secret is Feedback. When we respond to questions by thoughtful answers, we invoke our basic instinct curiosity. Back-and-forth feedback monitors growing personal comprehension. It leads to an improvement in self-esteem.

Remember questions are specific and logical, and require a united effort between our left and right hemispheres. Lecturing is a reversion to childhood when your parents and teachers told you how and what to think. Q&A the Socratic method - is a joint-venture between adults.

Are There Any Rules?

a) Make the questions intriguing and mentally arousing.

b) Questions must lead someplace incremental steps to reasonable conclusions and implications.

c) Look for logical steps in thinking, not lockstep answers.

d) The goal is personal understanding, and being open to change of opinion through personal growth by logical thinking.

e) Make the student see the illogic of their own thinking, to correct it and move forward to better ideas.

We do not want to provide cues to the right-answer because the system is a matter of learning to think skeptically and find our own way to reasonable solutions.

Endwords

Speed reading is a psychomotor skill that permits us to read three (3) books, articles and reports in the time our peers can hardly complete one.

Half the students who become drop-outs do so because they cannot keep up with the assignments. There are not enough hours in the day for them, to read and learn. Daily, they keep falling further behind. They read and remember information too slowly because they have no strategy beyond reading one word at a time, sub- vocalizing, regressing, and forgetting what they read within minutes of completion called porous concentration.

The Socratic Method is a strategy to train yourself to use questions and answers in pursuit of lucid analysis. Our experience is - it produces better long-term memory and focused attention.

Personal growth a learning skill goal occurs from the consistent use of probing question and listening for ideas, through logic and reasoning. If you want to grow you want to learn. Learning consists of gathering information and cross-examining it with solid questions, and analyzing what sticks to the barn door.

See ya,

copyright 2006

H. Bernard Wechsler
http://www.speedlearning.org
hbw@speedlearning.org

Author of Speed Reading for Professionals, published by Barron's Educational, business partner of Evelyn Wood, creator of speed reading, graduating 2 million, including the White House staff of four U.S. Presidents.

Are You Having Relationship Difficulties

A Sure Catalyst for Answers, Growth and Personal Transformation.

Lets set the record straight and say that relationships are fraught with deep challenges, inner pain, turmoil and downright agony at times. Ive lived through it myself, and have found a way that is beyond anything I can describe to get out of the pain, see the situation from the higher perspective as opposed to the personality perspective, and transform each and every challenge into profound personal growth and transformation.

For some of you, what I am about to share might seem a bit out there and for others, this will be a welcome relief.

How did I transform it all? How did I receive the wisdom to do it when I was immersed in deep pain? I will tell you. I honestly and purely wrote letters to God asking for answers, and I received them.

I asked for the highest perspective. I asked how to transform it all. I asked for the view I could hold within my mind to help me transcend the pain my personality was experiencing so that I could discover my truth, and then have the inner strength to follow through in my actions.

Many people think that God does not answer us personally. I can attest to the countless people I teach about how to receive answers from God that God does answer, and not only with answers, but with life transforming insight.

The process is actually simple. Write your questions from your heart, and ask for Divine guidance. Ask how to overcome your challenges. Ask how to deal with the situation so that your words and actions support what is for your highest good, as opposed to just what your personality might be stuck on.

Sometimes what we think we5B4 want is not always for our highest good. Many times, we can look back on situations from our past and admit that the people and situations that did not work out, ultimately worked out for our best. Its easy to see from hindsight, and I want you to learn how to see and receive the wisdom you can receive so that even during your most painful and emotionally challenging times, you can actually receive the guidance you need that will far outweigh your trying to figure it all out on your own on the personality level.

When I was experiencing deep emotional pain from a string along relationship, I had been doing writings to God for many years. While I had tears flowing down my cheeks, the words of God came into my mind, as I wrote my book Stop Being the String Along: A Relationship Guide to Being THE ONE. I definitely did not write that book on my own accord, or from my wisdom. I was in pain. It was all written through me, chapter by chapter, and the words and messages healed my pain, and then went on to help so many other people who are in pain in the area of romantic relationships.

Lets face it, if anything can get a woman to write letters to God, it would be from experiencing relationship pain, and wanting answers. You can receive answers too!

Use the emotional pain you feel in your heart as a catalyst for receiving the higher perspective. From that vantage point, you will receive objective clarity, gui5B4dance, insight, direction and truth. You will be amazed at the higher perspective you receive and even more amazed at how this helps you to transform your difficulties into authentic opportunities for personal growth and transformation.

When you write you questions, ask from your heart, and then as words flow into your mind in the form of an answer, write every word you receive verbatim and then re-read what you received in your writing.

Dont ask for predictions, ask for solutions. Dont ask how everything is going to turn out. That is based on fear. Ask what you can do, and how you can view the situation so that you are coming into your highest truth, even if you feel afraid of loss.

The one person on earth that you can never lose is yourself. The one place where you can receive every answer to every question that is weighing on your heart and in your mind is your God-Self within. Your Higher Self. This has nothing to do with religion. Whether you call it God, All That Is, Source, Holy Spirit, no matter what name you give it, the source is the same. It is our life force. It is that still small voice within. It is your gut instincts and you can receive it all in writing, so that you can always have a place to turn to any time you feel uncertain. You will become authentically empowered, and your life will begin to transform as you honor your truth.

Many times, it is a process, as opposed to a one ti5ADme event. Many times we might not follow or listen to the higher guidance we receive, such as to leave a destructive and emotionally hurtful relationship out of fear of not being loved, or being alone. However, the truth will ultimately win in the end as you keep asking for the higher perspective, and as you keep persevering with the true desire to want to grow and evolve, rather than try to change another person.

If you want true changes in your life and in your relationship, you have to evolve and change, just like I did. We all have to. Relationships are the most extraordinary catalysts to get us to honor our truth, and our painful feelings cause us to ask ourselves what we really want. The answers we receive will be what we ultimately want on a soul level, and what is for our highest good. You are entitled to live a life of inner peace, rather than in constant emotional drama and inner pain.

Ask the questions. Read your answers, and above everything else, follow what you know in your heart to be your deepest truth rather than lie to yourself. Youre all youve got. Start to become your own best friend. Set the intention to lift yourself up by asking how to in your writings. You will receive all of the answers you need. It is your divine birthright after all.

Copyright by Barbara Rose, Ph.D. All Rights Reserved

Barbara Rose, PhD. most widely known as "Born To Inspire" is the best selling author of "Know Yourself", "If God Hears Me, I Want an Answer!", "Stop Being the String Along", "If God Was Like Man" and Individual Power. She is an internationally recognized expert in the field of personal transformation, relationships and spiritual awakening. Barbara is a pioneering force in incorporating Higher Self Communication, the study and integration of humanitys God-Nature into modern personal growth and spiritual evolution. Her highly acclaimed books, public speaking events, tele-seminars, widely published articles, and intensives have transformed the lives of thousands across the globe. She is the founder of IHSC -Institute of Higher Self Communication, inspire! Magazine and Rose Humanitarian Alliance. Barbara holds a Ph.D. in Metaphysics and works in cooperation with some of the greatest spiritual leaders of our time, to uplift the spiritual consciousness of humanity. Visit her website http://www.borntoinspire.com

Best Yoga Mat

The best yoga mat for you will depend on what types of yoga you practise. Different types of yoga have different requirements and this is reflected in the type of mat to use.

The Best Yoga Mat For Hatha Yoga

Hatha yoga practitioners generally prefer using sticky yoga mats. The sticky mats will help with the more difficult postures and forms, giving you traction to the mat.

Sticky yoga mats are available in many different patterns and colors. As these are fairly standard mats, you can find them in most yoga studios, sporting goods store or various stores online - from normal online stores to auction sites like Ebay. However, don't always buy the cheapest one you can find - remember, you get what you paid for.

The Best Yoga Mat For Ashtanga Yoga

Ashtanga yoga (sometimes called power yoga) is a vigorous form of yoga, so you will want to buy a mat with good padding and durability, much more than the mats for Hatha yoga. If you are a serious practitioner, then you might want to spend a bit of extra money and get one of the best yoga mats, like the Manduka black yoga mat.

If you don't want to pay extra, look for a standard yoga mat with a thickness of at least 4mm. Some Ashtanga yoga practitioners prefer to use a rug instead of a mat, as the rug absorbs perspiration better than the mat. This is quite important for a more active type of yoga, as it will reduce the chances of you slipping.

The Best Yoga Mat For Senior Citizens

Generally senior citizens prefer thicker yoga mats to help cushion their joints or spine and prevent injury. This is especially important if you have joint problems. A good thickness will be 6mm or above, which are widely available at sporting goods stores and online.

The Best Yoga Mat For Children

Luckily mats for children will not break the bank, as they can use regular sticky yoga mats. However, most children will want a mat with a certain motif on it. These more colorful yoga mats are a little more expensive, but will certainly get children more excited abo59Aut yoga.

There are various stores selling yoga mats with children themes on them, but your best bet is to search online for the motif your child wants.

The Best Yoga Mat For Environmentalists

Normal yoga mats use polyvinyl chloride (PVC) in the mats, which has been linked to different types of cancer and also cannot be recycled. Therefore worn out mats need to go to a landfill, where it will take years to break down.

If you are worried about polyvinyl chloride (PVC) in your mat, there are various other more environmentally friendly options. You can, for instance, go for an eco-Yoga mat or an Earth Elements mat. There are a lot of natural fibre mats on the market, so all you need to do is choose one.

For more information on sticky yoga mats or any other yoga information, visit http://www.getyogainfo.com

God's Love Channeled Through Me

I was in a Yoga retreat during an evening program and was watching the evening program remotely with a small crowd of people as the main hall had overflowed. We were standing, watching and listening to the video monitor.

I became aware of a young girl a parked few feet from me, about seven years of age that appeared to be permanently confined to a wheelchair. Her legs were atrophied and she was on oxygen support.

I was half watching the monitor, and half aware of her when a group of kids her age came running around the corner, almost bumping into her as they passed her and disappeared into another room. They did not even look at her. I switched my attention to her and could tell from her face what she was feeling.

She wanted to be able to play but she knew she would never be able to and I knew that she might not have many friends. Her mother obviously loved her, but she needed more than that. I looked at her and could see her eyes were very full of sadness.

My state suddenly changed. It was like a window that opened and I saw into her heart and I sunk into my heart and the only thing that I was aware of was her. Her sadness was my sadness. Her yearning was my yearning.

My heart was so full of love for her that I felt that I could even sense how her body felt to her, as she sat strapped to her wheelchair.

With this compassion blazing in me and while looking at her from the side, she became aware of me and all this energy coming her way. She swung her head towards me, but did not directly look at me, she looked just to my side.

That is how we looked at each other for a while. Me looking into her eyes, she looking just to the side of me. Her eyes were beautiful, clear, and full of feeling.

This drama happened in a small crowd of people, only her and I knew what was going on, even her mother right next to her was not aware.

For that brief period of time I did not exist, all there was, was love. I loved her fiercely, like a father, a mother, a protector, a best friend. For that brief period of time, Gods love channeled through me.

Devidas Varga is a yoga enthusiast and publisher of TakeTimeYoga.com, which is all about how to begin yoga. He has maintained a practice of yoga and meditation for 30 years, living in Ashrams in India and the United States for a decade. He has immersed himself in many styles and promotes the life affirming effects yoga offers.

Begin Each Day With a To Do List

Time flies faster and faster each day. Technology gives the impression that we can accom10FBplish more in less timeyet, observation and studies reveal America is falling behind in the race as a productive force. To improve your rate of productivitythere are some easy and simple things you can do.

Do avoid over scheduling your day. It seems like scheduling every minute is the logical and practical solution. However, it has the opposite effect. Some things will take longer than you expected, because there will be interferences that you cannot predict. If you are scheduled to the max, you will have no room to absorb the miscalculation on time. Plan to schedule about 75% as productivity and 25% free time to give yourself flexibility.

Do avoid saying, Yes to everything. See my article, Freedom to Say, No. http://ezinearticles.com/?id=391631 Saying Yes to everything is like cholesterol clogged arteries. Your system is overloaded with stuff you have difficulty handling. Sometimes you will need to say, No to yourself. If you want to read a book, you will need to say, No to watching your favorite TV show. If you want to start a business, you will need to say, No to time wasters or other lesser important things.

Do avoid trading what you want at the moment for what you want later. That extra few minutes of sleep might seem like the best thing since your last favorite chocolate, but you know it will only cause you to be late, and then cause you to play catch-up. That new pair of shoes or dress may seem like the most awesome item you could buy for yourself, but if it causes a money crunch for necessary items, they arent worth it. Think about the long-term effects of your decisions one decision at a time.

Do avoid being duped by the clich You can have it all. Having it all is possible, either by having it at different times in your life, or by having a whole lot of helpthink Kelly Ripa, Katie Couric, Barbara Walters, Charlie Gibson, Tom Brokaw, et al. They have hair dressers, chauffeurs, wardrobe attendants and a full staff of people, making sure their every professional need is met, as well as nannies, housekeepers, etc. You can rest assured they aren't grocery shopping or do laundry.

Do avoid adopting the microwave mentality. Appreciate the various stages of projects and goals, as well as the pleasure they give. Be like a roseit begins to bud and unfold slowly and perfectlyas it unfolds we can enjoy its beauty. A relationship can change, being just as beautiful and enjoyable at each stage. Enjoy your journey as you move through each stage of a projectwhether long or short. Observe yourself as you learn in the process.

Do avoid giving up. Never give up. When you make a mistake, or when the wind of life blows in unannouncedand it willbeing as prepared as possible will give you the strength to be able to carry on. If you lose your job, having a reserve of money will ease the transition into a new job and give you the ability to wait to find the right job. When it seems there is no end in sightpush on. The answer is usually closer than you think. Avoid dooms day (fear) thoughts, anger, frustration, or a poor me attitude. No one can stop youonly you can stop you. Keep on until you get what you want.

Do Simplify your life with a few more items you want to avoid. Listen to your heart. Listen to your intuitiona.k.a. gut. Your heart and intuition will readily and easily help you make up your own list of things to avoid. Set your intention on filtering out things that do not give you the most enjoyment/reward.

Do Set you intentions. Set your intentions on what you wantbe specific. I will write a book this year. I will learn to golf. I will improve my golf game.

Dorothy M. Neddermeyer, PhD, author, 101 Great Ways to Improve Your Life, motivational speaker and inspirational leader. Dr. Neddermeyer empowers people to view life's challenges as an opportunity for Personal/Professional Growth and Spiritual Awakening. http://www.drdorothy.net

Easiest And Most Effective Methods

Aromatherapy for stress relief offers methods that fit easily into your daily life. Whether in the bath, air or on the skin, aromatherapy is highly effective at relieving tension, anxiety and fatigue. If you are searching for an inexpensive, simple way to deal with stress, give this natural remedy a try.

What is aromatherapy? It is a natural healing technique of using essential oils to ease health conditions. Essential oils are directly extracted from flowers and plants. The use of plant-based oils for healing is over 1,000 years old. When inhaled, the scents of the extracted oils affect the limbic system in the brain.

The limbic system influences the autonomic nervous system as well as emotions and behaviour. Inhaling certain scents can calm and balance our emotions and behaviour. Take advantage of aromatherapy for stress relief. It is a powerful mB67ethod of producing relaxation and rejuvenation.

There are many ways to use aromatherapy for stress relief. Using the essential oils in the bath, air and on the skin are the easiest. The oils are readily available and range from $5.00 to $30.00 for the most popular ones. They can be found mostly at health food stores and online. Try these methods and feel your stress melt away.

In the bath - The most pleasurable way to experience the effects of essential oils is in the bath. After pouring a warm bath add about six drops of a soothing oil such as lavender, lemmongrass or pine. The warm water will activate the healing scent of the oil. Bath products containing essential oils are now widely available. However they may not be as effective as using the pure oils.

In the air - This is a popular way of using aromatherapy for stress relief. Using diffusers, aroma lamps and inhalers are the many products available to fill the air with therapeutic scents. You may want to try putting a few drops of oil on a light bulb before you turn it on. The warmth of the light bulb will activate the scent. A quick method is putting a few drops on a tissue or cotton ball. Take a few whiffs to instantly relax, revitalize and recoup.

On the skin - Using the skin for aromatherapy serves many purposes in addition to relieving stress. Massaging tense muscles and joints, revving up circulation and improving skin health are but a few benefits. Essential oils always require a carrier oil to be put on the skin. Carrier oils such as sweet almond, avocado or grapeseed work well. Use approximately 6-8 drops essential oil to 20 ml carrier oil. You can even purchase a rub containing relaxing essential oils to use in times of stress. Just massage the rub into your temples, wrists or chest to calm your nerves instantly.

Using these methods of aromatherapy for stress relief are pleasant yet powerful. Feeling the soothing and rejuvenating effects of essential oils may lead you to use them for other ailments. A healing method that has been used for over 1,000 years must be effective.

To receive a valuable free report and newsletter click here: Free Report

Learn more about using essential oils to relieve stress by clicking here: Aromatherapy for Stress Relief

Discover which herbs will help you relieve stress at: Herbs for Stress Relief

Caroline Selfe has been a passionate seeker of natural and holistic stress relief methods for the past 25 years.208

Hardcore Body Building - How To Improve Your Body Building And Weight Training Program

Being hardcore does not mean having to alter your life to be on stage at the Mr. Olympia, having to sacrifice your life for the gym, or any other extreme measures. It simply means being intense, focused, and dedicated every minute you are in the gym in order for you to become the best you can be. That's the goal for all of us! Remember to train hard, go to failure (or near failure on certain sets), and continually give the best effort you can.

Genetics are a huge factor in bodybuilding as there are easy gainers and hard gainers. The vast majority of people fall somewhere in between. Provided that you have clearance from your physician or healthcare provider, anyone can train hardcore because this style of training is a mental & emotional approach to training, rather than simply a training routine with heavy weights. ANYONE, therefore, can be a hardcore trainee since it all starts with your own mind.

Remember that even the genetic "thoroughbreds on the Mr. Olympia stage are always looking to improve from year to year; so if they want to improve then remember that you can improve regardless of your genetics. At Metroflex, people from all walks of life train there every day; and the hardcore mentality is exemplified in numerous ways from people of all ages, athletic backgrounds, and limitations due to injury. Whether you train at Metroflex or at the most elegant health spa, the hardcore mentality should be considered as you can get the most out of your efforts. It also makes weight training fun, a challenge, and one which will help you realize consistent progress.

If you found this article to be useful and relevant, you are welcome to visit http://www.MetroflexGymTraining.com to get weight training & exercise information which simply works! You are invited to join the free Metroflex Gym Newsletter and download free reports, training logs, and receive special unannounced bonuses!

Hidden Benefits for Stress Reduction

Stress management amazingly reflects the old saying, "When life hands you lemons, make lemonade!" It seems to me that many of us today face so many challenges, we've forgotten how to be creative in turning those sour and stress-filled situations into something considerably more palatable.

Here are some suggestions about how you can find the hidden benefits and opportunities in a stressful situation. I'll share a few things that work for me.

Finding the benefits in a frightening, overwhelming or even traumatic situation may not happen overnight, but honestly looking for them can give you a bridge back to a more balanced life.

If a lot of stress is on you at once, it may not seem easy. What you might need first is a breather, a respite, to get your head clear long enough to regroup and see the situation from a higher perspective. John-Roger, the author of many books on practical spirituality, often says, "Get the altitude."

Open Your Mind to Solutions

While you're in the thick of the stress -- the pressure at work, the squabbles at home, the nightmare pile of bills, the custody dispute or whatever -- remind yourself there are solutions. You might not be seeing them yet, up to this moment, but they are present! If you can remember to do this, form a gentle intention indicating that you are open to seeing the stressful situation in new ways. I like an affirmation I once heard from Louise Haye, "I am willing to see this differently."

Start a Solution Track in Your Mind

If I can't flip immediately to solutions, I will sometimes continue mulling over the situation, still feeling the stressful feelings. At the same time, I tell myself that I am willing to see the whole thing from a new vantage point. Sometimes I say, "I know there is a way out," "I can handle this," "I'm open to a win-win solution here," or "Who can I turn to for help in looking at this objectively?" I begin running a second, solution-oriented track in my head right alongside the worry track.

What statements help you to feel stronger and calmer? Whatever encouraging, positive words you can tell yourself will help at this point.

Take a Time Out from Stress

Another helpful step is to go where you can be undisturbed for a half hour or so, and sit quietly. You could meditate or pray. You could also follow the homespun wisdom of Mark Twain who said, "Sometimes I sits and thinks, and sometimes I just sits." Alternatively, a twenty minute walk or getting busy with practical chores could help clear your mind and allow creative solutions to emerge.

Whatever you do to free up room for clarity and potential answers, this is a time to trust that solutions are arriving! If you are not quite having grand "Aha's" or stress reducing revelations yet, relax and be patient. Enjoy your walk, your fresh laundry, or your quiet moments alone.

Make Lemonade!

Next, let your logical mind go to work on making lemonade! After your time out, turn your situation every which way in your mind.

Look at it from the viewpoint of each player to understand where they're coming from.

Look at what you hope for in terms of an outcome.

Look objectively at how you got into this stressful mess; sometimes you can back out the same way you came in!

Look at the apparent obstacles.

Find the Hidden Benefits

Now look at those obstacles with an eye to discovering the hidden benefits, blessings or opportunities in the situation. Do you see in the stress situation some possibilities for learning and personal growth? Is it stretching you to the max?

In my experience, when you stop resisting and decide to cooperate with learning as much as you can possibly learn from this, it will suddenly seem less stressful.

Do you observe a teaching moment with your kids? Then you have an opportunity to share your concerns, or to lovingly set new limits so that you all learn together. Once your decision is made, stress notches down.

Do you experience a major loss on one hand, yet freedom for new directions on the other? You may need to grieve, but be aware that new possibilities will be available down the road. There's a light at the end of your stress tunnel.

Rather than saying, "This is terrible," talk to yourself about the positive potential in the situation. "I can use this challenge to learn and grow." "I can see how this will make my kid more mature." "I don't at all like having to deal with this flood, but we'll have a much nicer home after redoing the floors and walls.

Reframing

The technical term for making lemonade is "reframing." How you talk or think profoundly affects how you feel. How you think and feel impacts your health and can aggravate or alleviate symptoms of stress. So taking a negative, stressful circumstance and reframing it to find the positive potential within is a powerful stress reduction strategy.

When you define the a stressful event or circumstance as having some value and purpose, you will feel empowered, experiencing less stress and more inner peace! Acting on the solutions as you perceive them will lead to practical problem solving success -- until life dishes out the next batch of lemons!

In the long term, you might want to make a habit of opening your mind to solutions, starting solution tracks in your mind, taking frequent time outs, and "making lemonade" for ongoing, everyday stress 588reduction!

If long term stress reduction is a goal, come on over and sign up for my free Simple Stress Solutions newsletter at http://www.powerofpersonalpeace.com/optin.htm

Or check out my e-book, The Power of Personal Peace: Reducing Stress by Loving Yourself from the Inside Out at http://www.powerofpersonalpeace.com/info.htm

Dr. Ilenya Marrin is a personal peace coach, spiritual counselor, author and inspirational speaker blending principles of holistic psychology and practical spirituality to help you love yourself into less stress and joyful success!

American Body Building Supplement Products - American Body Building Products Explained

Products sold by the American Body Building Company are said to be of a higher quality than most. This article will explain all you need to know about the American Body Building Company and the products that it offers.

The American Body Building Company came into existence in approximately 1985 and have been providing body builders with high quality body building products since that time. It is said that this company is the only sports nutrition based organization that actually produces every type of body building product. The products manufactured range from sports drinks to body building supplements and also nutrition bars.

The philosophy of this organization centers around that really the effectiveness of your body building efforts relies wholly on your diet, the exertion when training and the amount of rest you get during your workouts. The ABB firmly believes that when you combine your intense body building workout program with an effective diet and adequate rest you will achieve your goals much faster.

Their products are extensively tested and have been scientifically proven to be very effective in the competitive body building product market. Not only they they strive for superior quality and service. They are also very stringent in the quality control of the ingredients used in their products. So much so that their supplies are required to supply Certificates of Authenticity to ensure that the ingredients are of the highest quality.

While many fitness centers frequently sell these products to body builders they are just as easily available online also.

It is important when choosing body building products that you choose quality products made from superior ingredients. If you short-change your nutritional supplements you will only be short-changing your body building goals.

Nutrition is only one part of your body building plan. I recently put a number of body building products to the test to siphon out the products that really do work to the ones that are pretty useless. My results will surprise you. Check out the website below for more information.

Copyright 2007. Body builders are spending a fortune on body building products that just dont work. Thats why I put the so-called best body-building products to the test. Not all body building weight training products are created equally, nor do they live up to the amazing results that they promise. The shocking truth is exposed at my body building weight training review site. Only go with body building weight training products that you trust. To find out more go to http://www.body-building-natural.blogspot.com.

Take Back Your Self Empowerment

Have you gone through periods of your life when you felt helpless and hopeless about your circumstances and destiny? I believe we all have.

Many of us have experienced the tragedy of physical or emotional abuse, broken relationships or the death of loved ones. The first thing we want to do is blame others or outside influences for our state of mind, financial stresses, relationshiB68p stresses or just life.

It's so easy to blame the abusive person or the person who broke our hearts for destroying our ability to love or trust again. You're placing on others the responsibility of your life, your emotions, your self worth, and happiness. However, blame is the easy way out and is a very disempowering emotion.

When we are thinking of making changes in our lives, we have a tendency to look externally. We think if we change our outsides, then we will be happy. We are waiting for the circumstances to change before we can be happy. However, true happiness comes from inside out; taking control of our own lives, being responsible for our own emotions, making the right choices for us.

The simple choice of taking responsibility for your self and life is the first step towards picking up the pieces of your life and starting over. When you focus your attention on making positive changes in your life, the constraints of the past are removed and you can be, do or have anything you desire. The power of deliberate positive thoughts will literally change your reality.

True empowerment is not just about taking control, fighting injustices or passing new laws that we think society needs to change the world. Empowerment starts within us first. It begins with our willingness and acceptance to be responsible for what is happening in our own lives.

I'm sure at some point in our life; we are all face with challenges and adversity. Some of us want to point the finger at others or outside situations, while others own their responsibility, making necessary changes to grow and learn from those challenges and get on with our lives. The sooner we realize this lesson, the sooner we will find life happier and with less stress. The way we handle our pain and these challenges and let it transform us makes the difference between winning and losing life's battles. The realization of this and the appropriate action makes you the true master of your own destiny. Isn't this what we all desire?

So I say to those who are still playing the blame game, it is time to take back your own empowerment and start living the life you so richly deserve. A life of choice and freedom.

About the Author: Sheri Falcone is a novice author, student of personal growth, and entrepreneur who enjoys helping others become truly empowered and achieve their dreams. She has turned her passion into a lucrative personal development, home business, http://www.setnolimits.info This business system provides all the tools you will need to create greater prosperity and joy in your life. Her enthusiasm is contagious and she believes laughter and appreciation are our emotional healers.

You Won't Get It, Until You Know What It Is

The biggest frustration amongst people seems to be not having what they want in life.

Yet they have exactly what they wished for.

Your mind is like a powerful computer. Much more powerful than anything man made that exists today. The purpose of your mind is to provide the outcome that is programmed into it, by you. It will always give you the programmed result - that is a law of nature.

And this is where the trouble starts.

Most of us have no idea how to effectively program this computer, and those that do, program it with ineffective programs more often than not.

Do you realize that the only difference between your success and that of say a Donald Trump or a Bill Gates, is the way that they think.

Whether they did it consciously or not, their thought patterns follow a set of guidelines that led them to the success that they enjoy. These patterns are burnt into their minds, and they will not alter them for anything. It is who they are. Like them or not, they are effective in their chosen fields.

So what does this have to do with you, and more importantly, can you use this knowledge for your own good.

Well the short answer is Yes.

You can use this knowledge, and are actually doing so every single day.

Your life is exactly as your mind thinks and reacts to circumstances on a continuous basis right now. So the good news is that you are already doing it, you cannot help yourself, it is human nature.

The bad news is that the thought patterns you have running in your mind, are not giving you the results you consciously want. They are giving you the results that you have programmed into your mind, mostly subconsciously.

This is why goal setting can be so important. With a clear goal in mind, your thought processes will at least be aligned in some direction most of the time. This can and does make a huge difference to your results.

Lets use the computer program analogy once more.

A computer will process information based on a specific set of rules and criteria. That is basically what a computer software program does. If you have a program that says if A happens, always do B, you get a predetermined predictable result. You know that a certain input will give you a specific output.

With our minds, not having a goal is like saying, if A happens, do B , or C or D or whatever strikes your fancy. The result is confusion and wasted energy. Spinning around without going anywhere.

Now life presents us with A today, B tomorrow, an C,D,A the next day. If you however have a set of actions ready for whenever A happens (by having a set goal) you automatically move toward your desired outcome every time A occurs. You might not have moved far, but you did move a small amount toward your goal, every time A happens.

At least you are moving in a certain direction, that you have predetermined, by simply deciding what you actually want, and then setting a goal to get there.

Goal setting is a huge topic, and not quite as simple as described. It is however very worthwhile, and just may make the difference between contentment and a life of frustration.

So find out what you want and why, then work towards that goal.

Kevin is the publisher and editor of besuccessfulnews.com, a site that provides information and articles on how to succeed in your own home or small business.

Building With People Tip

From my earliest days in Sunday school, I have remembered the words that a wise man builds his house upon the rock and the foolish man builds upon the sand. For 50 years, I thought this probably sound advice for someone about to build a house. It never dawned on me that it might have some other application until I heard the following quote from Peter Drucker. The task of leadership is to create an alignment of strengths in ways that make weaknesses irrelevant.

That statement unlocked doors in my mind and with it came the realization that success really does come from building on strengths. All too often we focus on problems (weaknesses = sand) and struggle to overcome them when in fact, we would be much better off focusing on what is working (strengths = rock) and building on them.

Over the course of my career, I have had a variety of bosses. Most tried to fix me. I did have one boss who stood up before the whole sales organization and told them he had complete faith in me. I didnt realize it at the time, but my boss motivated me in a way that I would have walked through fire for him.

In fact, I didnt really understand what he had done and how it affected me until I became soccer coach and tried a positive approach to leadership. By praising the desired actions of players, I was encouraging the other players to perform in a similar fashion. You get what you praise and reward (a lesson some organizations including our government should learn). In reality, I was building on strengths (the rock) just as my boss had done.

What about your organization? Are you still playing in the sand or are you building on rock?

 Copyright Bob Cannon/The Cannon Advantage, 2007. All rights reserved.

Byline Bob Cannon helps visionary leaders enhance performance and profitability in their organizations. Check out other interesting articles available in the Taking Aim newsletter available at http://www.cannonadvantage.com . Bob can be reached at (216) 408-9495 or mailto: aim@cannonadvantage.com

This article courtesy of http://www.decision-makingtoday.com . You may freely reprint this article on your website or in your newsletter provided this courtesy notice and the author name and URL remain intact.

Review and Refine

Periodically re-check and refine (or redefine) your goals

It's no use struggling to meet a goal that, by the time you get there, no longer fits in with your life. During obvious stopping spots along the way (say, every 10 lbs on a weight loss goal, or when you've saved enough for a down payment as part of a house-ownership goal), take a few days to sit back and really feel how you are reacting to reaching this milestone. Are you excited, chomping at the bit - or nervous, with slight overtones of dread or entrapment?

Some nervousness is to be expected if you're reaching out in a totally new direction in life, and it's only fair to expect that not all feelings you have will be cheery and rosy, even if you truly want the goal you're heading for. There is, at the very least, some mourning to go through for the loss of your old ways and your old life. But take time to make sure that you aren't ignoring obvious signals that are screaming, "Run away! Run away!" for good reaso587ns. Wedding jitters, for example, are perfectly normal; however, trepidation about abusive behavior, which doesn't seem to be declining (despite promises to the contrary), is another ball game altogether. Make sure that the goal you reach is the goal you want.

(c) Soni Pitts

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Soni Pitts is the Chief Visionary Butt-Kicker of SoniPitts.Com. She specializes in helping others reclaim "soul proprietorship" in their lives and to begin living the life their Creator always intended for them.

She is the author of the free e-book "50 Ways To Reach Your Goals" and over 100 self-help and inspirational articles, as well as other products and resources designed to facilitate this process of personal growth and spiritual development.

Creating Money Beyond Belief

I grew up in an environment of lack. At the tender age of 5, I remembered watching my mother looking all over the house and under the sofa set in our small living room for a five cent coin to pay the vegetable vendor - vegetables that she had wanted to buy to cook our dinner. She didnt find the five cent but the kind vegetable vendor gave her the vegetables anyway.

To save money, I always packed my food to school. This way, I dont need to buy from the school canteen. Most time it was just two slices of bread and a bottle of water.

For a long time I grew up believing that I have to work hard to become rich and that this was the only way to achieve wealth. That was what my parents taught me because that was what they believe in.

So I grew up with a lot of limiting beliefs about moneyFA5. I believe that

* most rich people become rich at the expense of the poor
* money is the root of all evils
* receiving money for helping people is sinful
* I dont deserve to be rich
* being rich is bad
* poor people are more honest than rich people
* poor people are more spiritual
* and many more

Then one day I chance upon a book. In it was the statement below:

Whether you believe it or not, its true.

The statement at first did not strike me as particularly special but somehow it stuck in my mind. Then one fine day, it clicked!

Of course!

All these while Ive been struggling with money, or the lack of it, because deep down inside my subconscious mind I believe that money is bad and since I am good, I should not have too much money. The powerful subconscious mind gives you exactly what you believe in.

I know that by changing my beliefs in money I could change my life from one of lack to one of abundance, but knowing is one thing and doing it is another thing altogether.

Old habits die hard. There was a lot of resistance to changing the old beliefs. Despite putting in all the positive affirmations about money and using subliminal messages, it was still a painstakingly slow process of change - but change it did.

I also learned meditation and learned to become more mindful of my thoughts so that I can delibrately allow only positive thoughts into my subconscious mind. Again, meditation requires lots of patience and discipline, but the fruits of the effort is well worth it. As I purify my mind more and more, I find that not only was I creating more opportunities for wealth into my life, I was also attracting a lot of good people and company as well.

Today, I do not worry about money.

I know I will not be lacking it. The universal law of abundance flows freely into my being and my life as I continue to practice generosity and gratitude towards others.

Wealth and spirituality are not mutually exclusive. In fact, they are one and the same. A person who truly understand the universal laws knows that he or she is a spiritual being that is complete and whole, lacking nothing. That is our nature - unconditional love, joy and abundance. Only when we doubt our true nature does fear of lack creep into our lives. In the presence of fear, we create resistance to the flow of abundance into our lives. Have faith in your wholeness and the universe will provide - without fail.

You can choose to believe in unconditional love, joy and abundance or you can choose to believe otherwise. Whichever you choose, youll be right!

Dr. Tim Ong is a medical doctor who runs his own busy medical practice. In his free time, he enjoys giving public talks, teaching meditation and offering his service to hospice work in the community. He is the webmaster of The Self Improvement Site and Mind Science Info. He is also giving away his personal collection of life transforming ebooks at Book of Transformation.

Reach Your Goals with Goal Pooling

Goal-pool with friends or acquaintances

Get together with a group of friends or co-workers and host a logistical brainstorming party where all the invitees lay out the goals theyd li5B4ke help with and make plans to meet them, with the help of the rest of the group. The result might look something like this:

Every Monday the whole crew gets together for a half-hour after work to help Barbara make fund-raising calls for her charity (and in exchange, everyone gets invited to the hoity-toity, networking-heaven Christmas party held to thank the donors and volunteers).

On Wednesdays, Bob hosts a scrap-booking dinner where he provides the food in exchange for mooching supplies, equipment and techniques from his more scrap-savvy cohorts.

On Sundays, June hosts a brunch where everybody eats high on the hog in exchange for honest feedback on her catering recipes and presentation/marketing ideas.

Continue goal-pooling until everyone involved has met their goals unless everyone decides to keep going and move on to the next batch of goals!

(c) Soni Pitts

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Soni Pitts is the Chief Visionary Butt-Kicker of SoniPitts.Com. She specializes in helping others reclaim "soul proprietorship" in their lives and to begin living the life their Creator always intended for them.

She is the author of the free e-book "50 Ways To Reach Your Goals" and ove33Er 100 self-help and inspirational articles, as well as other products and resources designed to facilitate this process of personal growth and spiritual development.

Do You Know What Triggers You?

Do you ever wonder why you're able to get along so well with some people, while others send you up the wall? Why is it that one of your children seems to make parenting seem easy, while the other child seems to be a constant challenge in your life? Do you ever wonder why at one moment you so adore your partner, and the next moment you're questioning why you ever got into the relationship? Let's take a closer look at what causes these triggers in our lives.

The people, things, and ideas in the world that we have a strong reaction to, that we reject, hate or judge, represent parts of ourselves that we have disowned or rejected. Sigmund Freud referred to this as the repressed side of us and Carl Jung called this our shadow side. In any case, many in the field of psychology or personal growth arena look at these "button pushers" as our teachers, bringing us gifts. The gifts are the opportunity to learn more about ourselves, increase our self-awareness597 and become more balanced and at peace in our present lives and in the world.

Think of all of the people who upset you or "push your buttons". Do they have similar traits or aspects to their personalities or do they fall within a few categories like selfish or self-centered or perhaps know-it-alls or whiners or super achievers? Could this be because you've never allowed yourself to be selfish? Has you role always been to be selfless? Have you lacked the ability to express what you know with confidence and self-assurance? Have you received the message that it's never okay for you to whine? Have you not been able to become that superachiever you've always wanted to be?

As long as a trait or aspect of ourselves is denied or disowned, we will continue to attract people into our lives that carry that trait and "push our buttons"...if not a partner, child or friend it might be your boss, subordinate or the waiter at your favorite restaurant. Once we embrace a disowned part, or at the very least, learn to accept that part within ourselves, it will no longer wield the same power over us, triggering us the way it once did.

For More Articles by Therapists on this and other Topics, go to http://www.therapylinx.com

Brahmacharya

Brahmacharya is the fourth of the yamas and the word, literally translated means dedicated to the Divinity of Life. The word is often used in yogic practice to refer to celibacy or denying pleasure, but this is only a small part of what Brahmacharya represents. The purpose of practicing Brahmacharya is to keep you focused on your purpose in life, the things that instill a feeling of peace and contentment

Historically, Brahamacharya as celibacy w5B4as likely a product of teaching yoga to young men, whose desires can be difficult to harness. Unless you are living the ascetic life of a sadhu, chances are you will indulge in sexual pleasure, food pleasure or any number of possible treats. To bring brahmacharya into your life and yoga practice is to practice moderation in all things, including those things that are pleasurable distractions.

When we become hooked on pleasure, it becomes an addiction and the absence of pleasure feels like loss or dissatisfaction; we become unable to enjoy the simple happiness of life, to observe the quiet broad beauty of our minds - slowing down becomes difficult because the focus becomes the object of addiction. Practicing moderation allows us to enjoy pleasure and remain focused on our greater purpose. . How does this relate to asana practice? Sometimes yoga students push themselves in yoga practice, creating a sense of urgency, correctness (am I doing this pose well?) and anxiety. This can leave a student feeling exhausted at the end of their practice rather than feeling relaxed or refreshed and ready for purposeful action off the mat.

It is important to apply moderation to moderation also, so it is not a burden. It is a beautiful practice. It is about moderating the extremes, not wanting too much and being happy with what you have. The practice of Wanting Wanting Wanting will always leave you feeling unsatisfied.

Brahmachar4BEya can bring out many issues and energies as you begin to observe moderation - our addictions and ego rebel strenuously when they are not in control. When they arise, notice what the issues are, go deeper into your practice and discover your true motivations.

Ask yourself what is your purpose in your yoga practice? What are your goals in yoga and do you allow space in your practice to reach those goals?

In yoga,

Jenn

Abraham Maslow

Life or Stress

Any event, good or bad, causes a stress response if we are unprepared for the situation at hand. Our stress responses exist to ensure safety in our world, for our dependents and ourselves; its function is to respond to danger, not Life itself.

What is Life? Life, in a yogic context, is summed up as those things in day to day existence that bring us peace, joy, contentment and open, loving awareness. It is our basic nature to be peaceful, loving and open not mistrustful, closed and afraid.

What is Stress? Well, virtually everything else - mostly non-life threatening and largely self-inflicted by placing monumental importance on incidental things. Stress is summed up in the things that cause us to act against our basic human nature.

Lets take a moment and look at our range of day-to-day stress: we have job stress, family/relationship stress, health stress, money stressand an overpowering amount of media that encourages stress, keeping us on the lookout for the quick fix, hungry for possessions and terrified about the state of the world today. We drink stress like coffee, consuming several cups of the stuff per day. As such we are habituated to stress, so accustomed to being in a heightened state that our natural stress responses become dulled by overuse. Our natural state of calm awareness is affected too, dulled from lack of use.

The truth is that most of our stress comes from perceived threats to our ego and identity - not our lives. Unfortunately, there are places in the world where day-to-day living is synonymous with real stress, but for most of us, it is not.

How does this relate to yoga practice? Living in a heightened state of alert, we tend to create stress for ourselves, in order to maintain the status quo. We bring stress to our yoga practice in the form of perceived ego threats: performance anxiety, comparison to others and personal criticism. We all know what happens when we experience stress, breathing becomes shallow and ragged and the mind becomes confused. So the solution is simple - come home to the breath; regain focus on your practice, your life, or the situation at hand. This transaction applies universally, to any situation and is the most efficient, effective way to combat stress and anxiety simply breathe.

So now Ive identified a concern, is this something to stress about? No, but as part of being mindful and practicing Ahimsa (non-violence), it benefits us all, instructors and students alike, to be aware of how stress plays out in life, in the body and in our fundamental regulating mechanism, the breath. A dozen deep breaths will remind you that Everything is already Ok.

Viktor Frankl

Emotional and Spiritual Growth

The Rules for Being Human, author unknown, are posted on a plethora of web sites. While these rules are helpful, there is one fundamental flaw in its wordingthat being that we are here to learn lessons. The concept of learning lessons is flawed in that it flies in the face of Carl Jungs concept of The Collective Unconscious, and the fundamental laws of human existence.

The collective unconscious refers to that part of a person's unconscious which is common to all human beings. It co103Bntains archetypes, which are forms or symbols that are manifested by all people in all cultures. They are said to exist prior to experience, and are in this sense instinctual. Critics have argued that this is an ethnocentrist view, which universalized Jung's European-styled archetypes into human beings' archetypes.

Less mystical proponents of the Jungian model hold that the collective unconscious can be adequately explained as arising in each individual from shared instinct, common experience, and shared culture. The natural process of generalization in the human mind combines these common traits and experiences into a mostly identical substratum of the unconscious. Thus, it can be said that we all have access to the same archetypal information and therefore, we are remembering what we have known since the beginning of our existence from the source. The source being the entity we call God, Higher Self, Essence Greater than Oneself or any name people use to identify this unseen, unheard, unobserved, and therefore unknown-by-anyone-else entity.

Therefore, I offer to you a revised edition of The Rules for Being Human: I will title itLaws of RememberingEmotional and Spiritual Growth.

1. You have a body. You may like it or hate it, but it is the one you chose for the entire period this time around.
2. You will have the opportunity to Remember everything you choose to remember. You are enrolled in a full-time informal experience of Remembering. Each day you will have the opportunity to Remember what you choose to remember. You may like what you remember or you may think it irrelevant and/or stupid.
3. There are no mistakesOnly opportunities to Remember. Emotional and Spiritual growth is a process of trail and error: Experimentation. The failed experiments are as much a part of the process as the experiment that ultimately prompts you to Remember what you have known since the beginning of existence.
4. An opportunity to Remember is presented until you choose to Remember. An opportunity to remember will be presented to you in various forms until you have remembered it. When you have remembered it, you can then go on to the next opportunity to Remember.
5. Opportunities to Remember do not end. There is no part of life that does not contain opportunities. The opportunity to Remember is infinite and continues for infinity.
6. 'There' is no Better than Here. When your There becomes a Here, you will obtain another There that will again look better than Here.
7. Others are Mirrors of you. You cannot love or hate something about another person unless it reflects something you love or hate about yourself.
8. What you make of your life is up to you. You have all the tools and resources you need to Remember. What you do with them is up to you. The choice is yours.
9. Your answers lie inside you. The answers to Lifes questions lie inside you. All you need to do is look, listen, and trust you are part of the whole.
10. You will forget your soul's sole purpose is to Remember.
11. You can remember it whenever you choose.

Dorothy M. Neddermeyer, PhD, author, international speaker, and inspirational leader specializes in: Mind, Body, Spirit healing and Physical/Sexual Abuse Prevention and Recovery. Dr. Neddermeyer empowers people to view life's challenges as an opportunity for Personal/Professional Growth and Spiritual Awakening. http://www.drdorothy.net

Louis B

Learn About Exercises To Reduce Stomach Fat

As a person ages, the horrible spectacle of a round tummy becomes a haunting reality. The quest for a flat washboard abdomen is hard to obtain. Most popular exercises for abs do not work by themselves, spot reduction is a myth, abdomens are not designed to be flat, and genetics and diet have a huge influence on the shape of your pot belly. This article will try to shed a little light on these concepts.

The reality is that most exercises we do for the stomach reduction don't work very well by themselves. The idea that we can eat all we want of whatever we want and then do 250 crunches to compensate will lead to frustration. Stomach exercises such as crunches don't last long enough to burn many calories since they can be completed in a few minutes and it takes extended periods of exercise to burn calories. These spot reduction exercises ignore the fact that our abdomens are5B4 not designed to be flat.

Nature has gifted us with abdomens that are naturally round. The muscles that make up the abdomen area are affected by the genetic makeup of our heritage and the fitness level of our body. As we age, we tend to become rounder as our muscles soften and relax. Men tend to become apple shaped with advancing years while women will become more pear shaped. A deciding factor of the amount of belly we develop is the matter of posture.

Our posture will contribute to looking taller and slimmer or rounder and plumper. Poor posture will contribute a great deal to the round abdomen. A straight back, head up and balanced, not leaning forward, and shoulders held back are all part of a good posture that will slim and strengthen your bearing. The real key to a flatter stomach is proper diet and exercise.

About 80 per cent of the effort to reduce your tummy is diet with the other 20 per cent of the effort focused on exercise. Over all body weight reduction will result in a slimmer stomach as well. A well balanced diet of proper portions accompanied by the aerobic exercise will reduce your over all body weight and firm and strengthen your muscles.

A successful effort to achieve those wash board abs will include much more than just doing a bunch of crunches. That is not to say that exercise will not help. Many exercises when combined with the proper calorie reduction can achieve remarkable 3B9results.

Want to trim that gut? Learn how at Stomach Exercise Info

Why Vitamin C Increases Muscle Gains

Do you sometimes feel your intensity and/or energy levels are going down? Your diet is good, you drink enough water, all other things seams to be perfect but for some reason you lack energy you had just recently. Symptoms of weakness and tiredness are very disturbing but worse of all, very much destructive for all building muscle mass attempts we may have. Good news here! Vitamin C is the answer. Muscle weakness is a common symptom of vitamin C deficiency.

Research showed valuable data. Functions of ascorbic acid indicate that any strength athlete needs to be consuming more than the RDA (recommended dietary allowance) because it has several functions that are important for building strength and muscle mass. Vitamin C is needed for maintaining the strength of tendons and ligaments but also it is essential for the adrenaline synthesis (the hormone crucial for intense training).

Physical training increases oxidative damage to cells in muscle tissue in our body. Vitamin C is an antioxidant that reduces the amount of oxidative damage caused by exercise. Proper amount of vitamin C ensures a lower release of cortisol. Why this cortisol thing is important? Being a catabolic hormone it does serve in other ways but its presence in the muscles promote excessive breakdown of muscle tissue. Therefore, lower secretion of this hormone should provide faster 5ADrecovery and better performance. But here is a problem: vitamin C is not of the stable structure and it can not be stored it in our bodies. Therefore we need sufficient amounts of vitamin C everyday. You may know that RDA for vitamin C is 60mg/day. However, recent studies in people that are not athletes suggest that a good intake is more likely to be around 200mg/day. And if you saw ours (or any other good) nutrition calculator you already know it is not too difficult to arrange. 8-ounce glass of orange juice will provide you with around 100mgs of vitamin C.

But it is very difficult to know the right amount your body will need. I must say it wouldn't hurt to supplement with an additional 250-500mgs a couple of times a day particularly if you are already feeling the "down phase" symptoms. I always take an extra 500mg dose with breakfast and before I train just to be sure. To conclude, vitamin C isn't advertised and glorified as so many "big" supplement labels. Smart and complete exercise - diet program contains perfect balance of all important elements for muscular development like Vitamin C. Fresh sources of the vitamin C like orange juice or lemonade are best in the sense. Adding extra vitamin C by supplementing your diet for most of us is necessary but not so effective without complete approach.

You can build up Massive and Strong Body fast, without risking your health. Sasa's advices saved time, money and good health to many Athletes. His dedication, profound experience and personal example are causing the difference. Feel free to visit his web page , claim your Free e-Book's and Video's and learn more on Fast Massive Muscle Building.