Stress management amazingly reflects the old saying, "When life hands you lemons, make lemonade!" It seems to me that many of us today face so many challenges, we've forgotten how to be creative in turning those sour and stress-filled situations into something considerably more palatable.
Here are some suggestions about how you can find the hidden benefits and opportunities in a stressful situation. I'll share a few things that work for me.
Finding the benefits in a frightening, overwhelming or even traumatic situation may not happen overnight, but honestly looking for them can give you a bridge back to a more balanced life.
If a lot of stress is on you at once, it may not seem easy. What you might need first is a breather, a respite, to get your head clear long enough to regroup and see the situation from a higher perspective. John-Roger, the author of many books on practical spirituality, often says, "Get the altitude."
Open Your Mind to Solutions
While you're in the thick of the stress -- the pressure at work, the squabbles at home, the nightmare pile of bills, the custody dispute or whatever -- remind yourself there are solutions. You might not be seeing them yet, up to this moment, but they are present! If you can remember to do this, form a gentle intention indicating that you are open to seeing the stressful situation in new ways. I like an affirmation I once heard from Louise Haye, "I am willing to see this differently."
Start a Solution Track in Your Mind
If I can't flip immediately to solutions, I will sometimes continue mulling over the situation, still feeling the stressful feelings. At the same time, I tell myself that I am willing to see the whole thing from a new vantage point. Sometimes I say, "I know there is a way out," "I can handle this," "I'm open to a win-win solution here," or "Who can I turn to for help in looking at this objectively?" I begin running a second, solution-oriented track in my head right alongside the worry track.
What statements help you to feel stronger and calmer? Whatever encouraging, positive words you can tell yourself will help at this point.
Take a Time Out from Stress
Another helpful step is to go where you can be undisturbed for a half hour or so, and sit quietly. You could meditate or pray. You could also follow the homespun wisdom of Mark Twain who said, "Sometimes I sits and thinks, and sometimes I just sits." Alternatively, a twenty minute walk or getting busy with practical chores could help clear your mind and allow creative solutions to emerge.
Whatever you do to free up room for clarity and potential answers, this is a time to trust that solutions are arriving! If you are not quite having grand "Aha's" or stress reducing revelations yet, relax and be patient. Enjoy your walk, your fresh laundry, or your quiet moments alone.
Make Lemonade!
Next, let your logical mind go to work on making lemonade! After your time out, turn your situation every which way in your mind.
Look at it from the viewpoint of each player to understand where they're coming from.
Look at what you hope for in terms of an outcome.
Look objectively at how you got into this stressful mess; sometimes you can back out the same way you came in!
Look at the apparent obstacles.
Find the Hidden Benefits
Now look at those obstacles with an eye to discovering the hidden benefits, blessings or opportunities in the situation. Do you see in the stress situation some possibilities for learning and personal growth? Is it stretching you to the max?
In my experience, when you stop resisting and decide to cooperate with learning as much as you can possibly learn from this, it will suddenly seem less stressful.
Do you observe a teaching moment with your kids? Then you have an opportunity to share your concerns, or to lovingly set new limits so that you all learn together. Once your decision is made, stress notches down.
Do you experience a major loss on one hand, yet freedom for new directions on the other? You may need to grieve, but be aware that new possibilities will be available down the road. There's a light at the end of your stress tunnel.
Rather than saying, "This is terrible," talk to yourself about the positive potential in the situation. "I can use this challenge to learn and grow." "I can see how this will make my kid more mature." "I don't at all like having to deal with this flood, but we'll have a much nicer home after redoing the floors and walls.
Reframing
The technical term for making lemonade is "reframing." How you talk or think profoundly affects how you feel. How you think and feel impacts your health and can aggravate or alleviate symptoms of stress. So taking a negative, stressful circumstance and reframing it to find the positive potential within is a powerful stress reduction strategy.
When you define the a stressful event or circumstance as having some value and purpose, you will feel empowered, experiencing less stress and more inner peace! Acting on the solutions as you perceive them will lead to practical problem solving success -- until life dishes out the next batch of lemons!
In the long term, you might want to make a habit of opening your mind to solutions, starting solution tracks in your mind, taking frequent time outs, and "making lemonade" for ongoing, everyday stress 588reduction!
If long term stress reduction is a goal, come on over and sign up for my free Simple Stress Solutions newsletter at http://www.powerofpersonalpeace.com/optin.htm
Or check out my e-book, The Power of Personal Peace: Reducing Stress by Loving Yourself from the Inside Out at http://www.powerofpersonalpeace.com/info.htm
Dr. Ilenya Marrin is a personal peace coach, spiritual counselor, author and inspirational speaker blending principles of holistic psychology and practical spirituality to help you love yourself into less stress and joyful success!
No comments:
Post a Comment